Turbo Time
by yakkofan725
Summary: [Twilight Zone/Jingle All the Way] Turbo Man's actor finds himself in the Twilight Zone


In our society, we tend to idealize superheroes, or rather, those who portray them, as infallible beings. After all, how else could they have gotten the job? But something we need to remember is that they have faults too. For example, they may truly be recreant, and thus unable to function in true danger. Or perhaps they are arrogant alcoholics with a penchant for being a jerk. This fault exists everywhere, but especially in The Twilight Zone.

Take for instance, Daniel Riordan, who, for 2 years, has portrayed the eternal purveyor of justice, Turbo Man. As Turbo Man, Daniel is a role model for a generation of children. As himself, it is quite a different story.

It was Christmas morning in Manhattan. Daniel walked down the narrow corridor of Energy Park Studios, where _Turbo Man_ is filmed; unaware that his coworker Martha Wilson was behind him.

"Hey, Daniel! Merry Christmas!", she exclaimed, which caused Daniel to jump back. He groaned,

"Martha! How many times have I told you not to sneak up on me? You know that I've had a long night-!" Martha interrupted Daniel's sob story.

"Drinking? And possibly taking in several illegal substances at the same time?" She was correct, and she knew it.

"Quit caviling, Martha. It doesn't matter! I don't like being bothered in the morning and you should respect that fact!"

Daniel was not a morning person. Or an afternoon person, for that matter. You know something? He just wasn't that much of a person at all.

Martha replied sarcastically.

"Jeez, I can see why so many children look up to you." The sarcasm was lost on Daniel. "Anyways, you wanna take part in our matins?"

"I've told you before, I'm not religious. Besides, I have to get to that stupid parade thing, Tell me, why do I have to do this every year? Just get some bozo to wear the suit. The kids won't notice!"

Martha felt the need to demur Daniel's little rant.

"The execs will notice. Besides, you and Curtis have great chemistry as Turbo Man and Booster. You can't tell me you didn't cry when Booster almost died in last year's Christmas special."

Martha was half-serious, as she knew many people who did, obviously not including herself. Because she is a grown woman and totally does not cry over fictional characters.

"Yeah, I'm not a kid, so the death of a magical bear thing does not affect me. Besides, nobody likes Booster. Look, during the next live show, I could take this gisarme..." He picked up a prop blade that was sitting on a nearby table.

"...and just chop Booster's head off, and nobody would care!" Daniel was actually correct in this situation, as tests showed that kids least preferred episodes focusing on the furry monstrosity.

Martha shrugged Daniel's comments off and forced him to drive to the building in which the parade performers were preparing. On the way, he noticed that he still had an hour before he had to be at the parade, so he stopped at a bar. Upon entry, a few of the pre-existing patrons recognized him as Turbo Man, which was strange as he only portrayed Turbo Man while in the costume.

"Hey, you're Turbo Man, aren't you?" one, who for some reason was wearing a hauberk asked. "My kids love you. Seeing as we're both pretty famous, I play a knight on _Lowlander_ , can you sign something for them? Make it witty. I know you can. You're always so adroit."  
Daniel reluctantly agreed and signed a picture, adding a comment that the kids should "find a real hero, jerks"

The man responded angrily, "Hey, buddy. There's only one jerk here, and it's you!"

Daniel walked away while the man ranted. What was that all about? He was an actor on a kids show! Since when were they known for being chary?

Suddenly, a pink furry bear thing rushed into the bar. "Jesus Christ," Daniel thought. "It's Booster." He stood and spoke reluctantly, "Look, Curtis, I still have an hour until I have to be at the parade. Just let me have a drink and I will be there when I get there."

"Gee, Turbo Man," responded Booster innocently, "I don't know who Curtis is or where there's a parade today, but I thought you should know that Dementor is terrorizing the city again!"

Daniel was already fed up with Booster, and by extension, Curtis. "Okay, fine. I get it. I'm late for the parade. Give me a sec, okay?"

"Turbo Man, there's no parade. The city's being destroyed! Can't you save the day _noooow_?" asked Booster, sounding about as annoying as possible.

"F-fine, Curtis!" Daniel exclaimed in anger. "If it means so damn much to you, I'll come now." The bear cheered and did an annoying cutesy victory dance, despite Daniel's protest.

"Oh, I almost forgot. You'll need this!". Booster handed Daniel a boomerang launcher. Ir was much heavier than it usually was. "Remember, always grab it by the haft. This thing could put a pretty sizable dent in your armo- Hey! Where's your armor?"

"It's at the parade, Curtis. And stop acting like all this is real!"

Again, Curtis knew nothing about the parade. Daniel came to a realization that something was off about this whole scenario. To assay his thoughts, he aimed the boomerang launcher at the barfly who had earlier asked him for an autograph. The boomerang set off on its journey, chopping the guy's head off, and leaving a dent in the wall behind Daniel. "I killed a man!" Daniel thought excitedly. Curtis was not as amused. In fact, he was mournfully crying.

Daniel knew something was off now. Despite enjoying his job far more than Daniel, Curtis still had a very immature attitude and a fascination with murder.

Daniel stepped out of the bar and saw something he never expected to see: Dementor actually terrorizing the city. Buildings were destroyed, cars were turned over, and citizens were lying dead in the street.

"For God's sake, would somebody tell me what's going on here?"

What was going on was that Daniel had entered The Twilight Zone.


End file.
